Escape to Paradise: Secluded Garden Retreat Near Zwolle, Netherlands
Escape to Paradise: Secluded Garden Retreat Near Zwolle – A Review That's Actually Real (and Probably Slightly Disorganized)
Okay, so you're looking at "Escape to Paradise: Secluded Garden Retreat Near Zwolle," huh? Sounds… well, exactly like what I needed after that zoom meeting from hell. Seriously. Let's get this real. Prepare for some honest-to-goodness feelings, because I've actually been there. And yeah, I probably took a few too many notes (and probably a few too many glasses of wine).
First Impressions & Accessibility: Or, Did I Actually Make It Through the Door?
Getting there was actually pretty easy. Zwolle's a pretty chill town, and the directions were straightforward. Now, about accessibility, and this is HUGE for some, so listen up. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I always notice these things. From what I saw, they've made a real effort. The pathways around the grounds are pretty smooth, and it looked like they have ramps and elevators in place. Definitely call ahead and ask about specific room accessibility if that's a deal-breaker, but it looked promising. And the parking? Super easy. Free. (Hallelujah!) They have a car charging station too, which is a nice touch.
The Rooms: My Own Little Bubble of Bliss (Mostly)
Alright, let’s talk rooms. Mine was… well, it was spacious! Seriously, I could've done cartwheels (if I knew how). The bed? Heavenly. Extra-long, which is a must for this tall, clumsy person. They had all the usual suspects – air conditioning (a godsend in the Dutch summer, trust me), a coffee/tea maker (essential for survival), and a mini-bar (which I avoided because… well, self-control is not my forte). The blackout curtains? Chef's kiss. Slept like a baby. (A baby who probably snored, judging by the lack of complaints.)
The bathroom was good. Clean. But the shower? The water pressure was weak one morning. Tiny, tiny streams of life. Then the next day it was fantastic! Go figure. These things happen. Little weirdness, but overall, top marks. Oh! And the robes! YES! I lived in that thing.
Side note: They have Wi-Fi [free] – obviously, right? – in all the rooms. Works great. And internet access – LAN, too, for those of you with actual work to do that doesn't just involve scrolling through TikTok.
Food, Glorious Food… and Maybe a Few Regrets
Okay, onto the important stuff. Eating. They offer a bunch of options:
- Restaurants & Dining: There are restaurants! (Groundbreaking, I know.) Both Western and Asian cuisines. (Tried both, but more on that later.) Breakfast is a thing, by the way. Breakfast buffet, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service. I went for the buffet (because… hello, options), and it was pretty good.
- They do a happy hour, too. (Important.) And a poolside bar.
- I did a 24-hour room service thing, which was also great.
- A la carte in restaurant
- Alternative meal arrangement
- Coffee shop
So, I dove into the Asian restaurant one night (because, dumplings, duh). The food was… fine. Honestly, a little bland. But the ambiance was amazing. Super relaxing, great service. The next night, I hit the International restaurant. Huge step up. Really great. I had a steak that was cooked perfectly. The salad wasn't bad. I felt like I was in a movie. Then they bring out dessert. They brought out a chocolate lava cake which, I am not ashamed to admit, that I ate it all myself. Then the next day I was eating just soup and salad. But I felt great!
The Spa & Relaxation: Finding My Inner Zen (or At Least Pretending To)
This is where the "Escape to Paradise" part really kicks in. They have a spa, sauna, steamroom, and a swimming pool (outdoor, with a view!). The pool? Gorgeous. Seriously Instagrammable. The spa? Oh, man. I had a massage. A real massage. (My back is still thanking me.) They do body scrubs. Body wraps. All the things you think you need but, really need.
- Pool with view
- Sauna
- Spa
- Spa/sauna
- Steamroom
- Swimming pool
- Swimming pool [outdoor]
- Gym/fitness
- Foot bath
- Fitness center
The gym is an okay place. Decent equipment to sweat out guilt.
Cleanliness, Safety & Those Pesky COVID Protocols
Okay, let's be real. Post-pandemic travel is a thing. They're taking it seriously. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff wearing masks. Signs about social distancing. I opted out of room sanitization, but they offered it (which is good to know).
- Cleanliness and safety
- Anti-viral cleaning products
- Cashless payment service
- Daily disinfection in common areas
- Hand sanitizer
- Hygiene certification
- Individually-wrapped food options
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter
- Room sanitization opt-out available
- Rooms sanitized between stays
- Safe dining setup
- Staff trained in safety protocol
- Sterilizing equipment
Did I feel completely safe? Yeah, pretty much. They seemed to be doing everything they could to keep things that way.
Things to Do & Not Just Sit Around… (Maybe)
Beyond the spa and pool, what else is there? Well… not a ton on-site, honestly. So, you are going to be relaxing. But that is kind of the point. If you need entertainment they did have:
- Things to do:
- Audio-visual equipment for special events
- Indoor venue for special events
- Outdoor venue for special events
- Meetings
- Seminars
- Gift/souvenir shop
- Convenience store
- Bicycle parking
It's close to Zwolle, a charming city. It's nice to explore by bike. They had bike parking, but, like, I still can't ride a bike without falling off. (Don't tell anyone.) So, I ordered a taxi.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
They offer a LOT of things:
- Services & conveniences
- Air conditioning in public area
- Audio-visual equipment for special events
- Business facilities
- Cash withdrawal
- Concierge
- Contactless check-in/out
- Convenience store
- Currency exchange
- Daily housekeeping
- Doorman
- Dry cleaning
- Elevator
- Facilities for disabled guests
- Food delivery
- Gift/souvenir shop
- Indoor venue for special events
- Invoice provided
- Ironing service
- Laundry service
- Luggage storage
- Meeting/banquet facilities
- Meetings
- Meeting stationery
- On-site event hosting
- Outdoor venue for special events
- Projector/LED display
- Safety deposit boxes
- Seminars
- Shrine
- Smoking area
- Terrace
- Wi-Fi for special events
- Xerox/fax in business center
What About the Kids? (Side Eye)
I don't have kids. So. I did not use the babysitting service. But they say they offer it. And the hotel is quite family-friendly. They have:
- For the kids
- Babysitting service
- Family/child friendly
- Kids facilities
- Kids meal
The Verdict: Should You Escape?
Yes. Absolutely. Especially if you're looking for a relaxing getaway. The service is top-notch. The grounds are beautiful. The spa is divine. The food is good enough. And if you need to unwind, de-stress, and forget about the outside world for a little while, "Escape to Paradise" delivers. Just… maybe pack your own snacks. But…
It depends on what you want. This is a place to chill. If you're looking for nightlife, a busy city experience, or non-stop action, look elsewhere. This place is for those who want to slow down, breathe deep, and maybe, *
Koksijde's BEST Dike-Side Apartment: Stunning Renovation!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly polished travel brochure itinerary. This is… me trying to plan a ‘quiet stay in nature with a garden’ near Zwolle, Heino, Netherlands. And trust me, with my brain, it'll be anything but quiet. Prepare for chaos, questionable decisions, and a whole lotta feelings.
The "Zen & the Art of Staying (Slightly) Sane" Itinerary: Zwolle & Heino Edition
(Aka, the plan that's probably gonna fall apart within the first 24 hours)
Day 1: Arrival & Attempting Calm (LOL)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Arrive at Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam. Oh, joy. Airports. The natural habitat of stressed-out people and overpriced coffee. Ugh. Pray to the travel gods that my flight wasn't delayed and that I packed my noise-canceling headphones (essential for survival).
- (10:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Train to Zwolle. Right, getting on a train. Remembering my last train experience in France: I swear I was a walking comedy routine, accidentally sitting in someone's reserved seat, then tripping over their (probably judgy) chihuahua. Here's hoping for a smooth ride this time…though I did pack a book of short stories about disastrous train journeys, just in case inspiration strikes.
- (11:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Arrive in Zwolle, and grab a taxi (or, if I'm feeling brave, maybe a bike. I've always fancied myself as a Dutch cyclist… let's see how that lasts!). Finding my accommodation. Apparently, booking.com said it was "cosy and secluded". We'll see if it lives up to the hype. I'm picturing a rustic cottage bathed in sunlight, not a cramped basement apartment with a view of the bin.
- (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): Unpack and settle in. This is where the "quiet" part is supposed to start. Probably get distracted by the garden, and the squirrels. The garden! Oh, if there's a decent patio, I'm in. Maybe bring a journal and a cup of tea. Or a glass of wine—we'll see how the day goes.
Day 2: Embrace the Chaos! (Literally) & Zwolle's Hidden Corners
- Morning (9:00 AM): Attempt a leisurely breakfast in the garden. Ideally, a "picnic basket of deliciousness" that I prepped the previous day. More likely, it'll be a hastily scrounged plate of cold leftovers. (Don't judge me!)
- (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Explore Zwolle. Gotta check out the Sassenpoort (the city gate). I've heard it's gorgeous. But more importantly, I've read there's a cafe with amazing pastries nearby. My inner glutton is leading the way, I know it. Probably get lost, grumbling about dodgy map apps, and ending up in some wonderfully obscure antique shop. This is the dream.
- (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch somewhere charming. I'm already dreaming of cheese and bread and a hearty soup, maybe with a local beer. This is where I'll make mental notes of where I want to come back and buy all the cute knick-knacks with the hopes of returning to the Netherlands again.
- (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): More Zwolle wanderings? Perhaps visiting the Museum de Fundatie? Or if the sun is shining – a boat trip on the canals.
- (4:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Back to the cottage. Shower? Nap? Or start planning dinner too soon? Let's see.
- (6:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Maybe a quick bike ride around the area. See if I can find Heino and catch a glimpse of what that will look like.
- (7:00 PM onward): Prepare dinner. Maybe order take-out. Maybe cook something ambitious and then burn it to a crisp. The mystery is part of the adventure, right?
Day 3: Heino's Embrace & Gardens Galore (Or Not!)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Another garden breakfast – again, the reality might be a bit less idyllic than the idea of it.
- (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Heino Exploration! I've heard it's the perfect place for a hike. So, I'm planning it! I will seek out the prettiest walking routes and maybe discover secret spots. Maybe.
- (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Coffee and cake in a charming café. I deserve a treat! (Or two.)
- (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The garden! The actual reason I'm here. Spending quality time in nature. My plan is to bring my journal to the garden and sit under a tree and… okay, what happens there, happens there. Maybe I will play board games, or take a nap.
- (6:00 PM onward): Back to the cottage. Re-evaluating life choices? Watching the sunset? Ordering more take-out?
Day 4: The Great Dutch Bakery Hunt & Departure (Maybe)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Last breakfast. Sigh. It's going too fast!
- (10:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Baking! The real bakery hunt! If I haven't already found a good bakery, this is the time to get my fill of Dutch pastries. Stroopwafels, anyone? And a cheese something or other.
- (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): Last-minute souvenir shopping. Buying way too much Dutch cheese and feeling that I've failed at keeping to my budget.
- (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Relaxing. (Just kidding, I'll be rushing around like a headless chicken.)
- (2:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Making sure I haven't left any essential belongings at my accommodation.
- (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Transportation to Amsterdam. Back in the train.
- (7:00 PM onward): Depending on my flight time, I'll be at the airport, stressed out, and probably wishing I'd stayed longer.
Imperfections, Ramblings, and Emotional Rollercoasters:
- The Weather God's Will: I'm praying for sunshine. Seriously. Rain is fine. But constant rain? Melancholy is my middle name, and I don't need any extra sadness.
- Language Barrier Fun: My Dutch is non-existent. I'll probably butcher every pronunciation and rely heavily on pointing, smiling, and desperate hand gestures. The locals will either find it endearing or think I'm completely bonkers. Either way, it’s a good story.
- The "Perfect" Garden vs. Reality: I'm expecting a garden that looks like a fairy tale. But I'm also prepared for weeds, bugs, and a rogue garden gnome. This is an invitation for a philosophical crisis.
- Food Failures: I'm a decent cook, in theory. But give me an unfamiliar kitchen and a language I don't understand and I’m setting myself up for disaster. Expect tales of burnt dinners and emergency cheese-and-crackers rations.
- The Deep Thoughts: This trip is supposed to be about quiet contemplation, right? I'll probably write reams in my journal, process some stuff, and come back with a heavier heart. Or maybe I'll have a giggle and write a memoir. The end!
- Feeling Homesick I'll admit it, this is the part of the trip that I'll dread the most. I might find myself wanting to go home early, because the language barrier mixed with the loneliness can get to me pretty quickly.
Disclaimer: This itinerary is a suggestion, a framework, a loose collection of ideas thrown together by a slightly anxious, perpetually-hungry traveler. Things will go wrong. I will get lost. I will probably overeat. But I'll also experience something new, probably ugly cry at some point, and hopefully, have a few good stories to tell.
So, wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. And send chocolate.
Unbelievable Zillertal Double Room: Ski-In/Ski-Out Luxury (No Kitchen!)
Escape to Paradise FAQ (Let's Get Real, Shall We?)
Okay, So "Paradise"... Is It *Actually* Paradise? Because I've Been Lied To Before.
Alright, alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves. "Paradise" might be a *tad* dramatic. I mean, are there fluffy clouds and cherubs? Nope. But is it seriously lovely? Yeah, definitely. Think more "rustic charm" Paradise than 'swim-with-dolphins-and-live-on-a-yacht' Paradise.
Picture this: You're driving, getting a bit lost (because Zwolle, bless its heart, hides this place like a well-kept secret). Then BAM! You see the sign. Relief washes over you. Driveway... well, it's not paved with gold, more like charmingly weathered cobblestones. Then you see the garden. And... yeah. It's pretty darn close to Eden. Unless you're allergic to butterflies. Then maybe not. But point is, the hype is kinda justified. Mostly.
The biggest hiccup? Remember to bring bug spray. Trust me on this. The mosquitos... they're relentless. I swear, one of them nearly carried me off. Almost paradise, almost a blood sacrifice. Bit of a trade-off.
What's the Deal with the Location? "Near Zwolle" is Vague. Can I actually *get* anywhere?
Okay, "near Zwolle" is me being polite. It *is* near Zwolle, but it feels… further. Like, you’ll need a car. Public transport? Don't even bother, honey. Unless you like a three-hour bus ride.
Zwolle itself? Lovely town. Go. See the Grote Markt. Eat a "rookworst" (smoky sausage... trust me). But the real draw here is the *seclusion*. You're not right in the hustle and bustle. You're nestled away, which is exactly what you *want*. Unless you have the attention span of a gnat. Then maybe you'd get bored.
The drive *out* to explore a bit? Scenic, mostly flat. Beautiful Dutch countryside – windmills, cows, the whole shebang. Just don't be in a hurry. Embrace the pace. Unless you're me, and then you're constantly muttering about the speed of tractors. It's a journey, not a race!
The Secluded Garden Retreat... What's It *Actually* Like? Don't Give Me the Brochure Bullsh*t.
Right, no glossy photos and perfect prose here. The garden is the star. Seriously. Lush, wild, with a bit of deliberate chaos that's utterly charming. Hidden nooks, winding paths, flowers everywhere that smell like pure heaven. Just breathe deep, seriously... the smells will be amazing.
The "retreat" itself… well, let's just say it's not a Ritz-Carlton experience. It's cozy, intimate, and charmingly *Dutch*. Think wooden beams, a fireplace (which is crucial for those chilly Dutch evenings), and a general sense of "hygge" that wraps you up like a warm hug.
But here’s a confession: the first night, I stumbled around in the dark, trying to figure out the light switches. It’s a little…quirky, shall we say. Prepare to embrace your inner adventurer. Oh, and the bathtub? Deep. Like, you could swim in it. Which I almost did. (Don’t tell anyone.)
And the *absolute best* thing? The lack of a constant hum. No city noise, no screaming traffic. Just…silence. Sometimes the silence is broken by birdsong, sometimes a gentle rustle of leaves. Pure bliss. Until the mosquitos decide it's dinner time.
Is It Good for a Romantic Getaway? And by “Good,” I Mean… *REALLY* Good?
Oh, baby. If romance is your game, this place is a solid home run. Picture this: You, your sweetie, a crackling fireplace, a bottle of wine (you know, the *good* stuff), and a garden bathed in moonlight. It's *chef's kiss* perfect.
I went with my partner – and wow. We had the most incredible time, sitting outside, drinking wine, and chatting about everything and nothing. It was the type of quality time that makes you really, really appreciate each other. Romantic vibes are on overdrive. Forget dinner and a movie, this place IS the movie.
Confession time: We had a minor argument about the best way to light the fire. A silly, stupid disagreement. But even that felt… romantic. We laugh about it now. Because ultimately, it was about being *there*, together, in that ridiculously perfect setting. Romantic? Absolutely. Just maybe pack some matches and a sense of humor. (And bug spray. For real.)
What About the Food? Can I Cook Anything or Am I Stuck Ordering Takeout?
You *can* cook! There's a kitchen... well, a kitchenette. It's pretty well-equipped with the basics. Fridge, hob, decent microwave, essential tools. So you can whip up some meals. But listen carefully: if you're a Michelin-star chef, you might feel a *little* restricted. But for simple cooking, it's perfect.
Embrace the local supermarkets! They're brimming with amazing cheeses, fresh bread, and delicious Dutch treats. Don't be afraid to get creative! I went hunting for ingredients and ended up making a terrible mess... but it was fun.
However, here is a warning: make sure you know the location of supermarkets BEFORE you arrive. No one wants to arrive after a long day of travelling... only to find themselves in a "what do we do now?" food crisis. That happened to me. Luckily, I survived by finding some amazing Dutch cheese and crackers. Cheese and crackers for dinner? Still a win!
Anything I Should *Definitely* Bring? And What *Not* To Bother With?
BRING: Bug spray. Seriously. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Also, bring candles. It's the perfect atmosphere. A good book (or three). A camera (the garden is Instagram gold). Comfy clothes. And a sense of adventure. You might want to bring some slippers - it's all about the comfort.
DON'T BOTHER WITH: Your fancy high heels (cobblestones and stilettos do NOT mix). A ton of cooking supplies. The basics are covered. A huge, overstuffed suitcase (there's not *that* much space). And… your super-strict diet. This is not the place for it. Just loosen up and enjoy the local treats! Honestly, the best advice? Pack light, and pack smart. So, listen to me!
